A Funny Speaker Survives Cold Weather

You need a sense of humor to get through cold weather.  At least this funny speaker thinks so.

A Funny Speaker tries to survive the cold Funny Speaker A Funny Speaker Survives Cold Weather Shivering

Funny Speaker and the cold

I love this season.  Family.  Friends.  Holiday parties.  Gift giving.  Being thankful.  All the best stuff in life.  I just wish all that didn’t come with the cold weather.  I was in Minnesota the first of this month and, shocker, it was cold.  Minnesotans wear cold weather like a badge of honor.  They’re proud of the fact it’s colder there than anywhere else.  They asked me how cold it got in Kansas City that week and I told them it got down to 5 below.  Their response:  “well, that’s pretty good, but we got to 20 below”.  What do you mean, “pretty good”?  And is this a contest?  We were colder, neener, neener, neener.  They’re proud of how cold it gets and they taunt outsiders about it.  “Is it cold enough for ‘ya?  Is it?  Is it cold enough for ‘ya?”  I want to say, “no, not until my eyeballs actually freeze to my eyelids, only then will it be cold enough”. 

Minnesota people are so programmed for this kind of weather you can spot them anywhere at any time.  That’s because they always enter a room by stomping their feet and wiping their shoes.  Always.  In July in Phoenix, that’s the way they enter.  And don’t you love their optimistic view of the weather?  Everysnowfall is just a “flurry”.  I was there once when it “flurried” for eight hours.  We had 18 inches of “flurry”.  Last year I was in Duluth when the wind chill was 70 below.  Let’s put that in perspective.  When it’s 70 below, it has to be 100 degrees hotter just to be your freezer.  Chew on that popsicle for a while.  I’ll never forget trying to make conversation and asking a local if it got that cold very often.  All he said was “yeah”.  (One word answers apparently conserve body heat.)  I responded by saying, “if it gets this cold very often you must have a lot of sick people in Minnesota”.  He said, “nope, the sick ones die”.  Wow, makes you wanna head north doesn’t it?

Mark Mayfield, A Funny Speaker with a Serious Message


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