A Funny Speaker’s Take on Names

Funny Speaker's Delaney Funny Speaker A Funny Speaker's Take on Names 18monthsphotoCrop

Funny Speaker’s First Grandchild

A person who makes a living as a funny speaker, is always going to notice a funny name. 

Delaney May is my first grandchild.  That’s her first and middle name and the reason I’m not broadcasting her last name is because I’m sure some international modeling and/or talent agency is gonna want her, and she just doesn’t need that kind of pressure right now.  She’s too busy learning how to blow slobber bubbles for heaven’s sake.  But I’m just so thankful that my daughter and son-in-law chose such a great name.  It’s beautiful, even poetic, but most of all NORMAL!!!

Since I’m a funny speaker, I’m all about calling attention to yourself.  But when you do that by giving your child a totally whacked out name, you may have gone too far.

Why do parents do that?  A name is somewhat permanent.  Gwyneth Paltrow named her daughter “Apple”.  Maybe she can name her next child “Peach”, then she’ll have a pair.  HA!  And this is the woman that moved to England because she said Americans were too stupid.  Look in the mirror honey.  Rob Morrow named his daughter “Tu”.  His little girl’s name is pronounced Tomorrow.  Are you kidding me?  But the “Big Bonehead” award has to go to Dave Duchovny and Tea Leoni who named their child “Kyd”.  They named their kid, Kyd.  You can’t make this stuff up.  I’m thinking “Kyd” is a kid destined for wedgies.  There’s “Billy the Kid” and “Kid Rock”, but those are nicknames.  There is a difference, you attention seeking dimwits.  At least now we will have a real life sequel for Abbot & Costello’s “Who’s on First” routine.

What’s your name kid?
No, your name kid.
That’s it.
That’s what?
My name.
That’s what I’m asking, what’s your name kid?
You got it.
I got what?
My name.
That’s what I’m asking, your name kid?
That’s it.
Your name is “It”?
Nope, he’s my brother.

I thought the parents were supposed to be the smart, responsible ones.  But those examples I gave you did come from Hollywood, didn’t they?

Mark Mayfield, A Funny Speaker with a Serious Message


Speak Your Mind