I am an Aging Funny Speaker

A funny speaker will age just like everybody else.  And sooner or later it will happen to you too.

A Funny Speaker looks at aging funny speaker I am an Aging Funny Speaker aging

A Funny Speaker Looks at Aging

You’ll look in the mirror and say, “when did I get so old?”  Sometimes it’s when you have a birthday, or even more telling…when your child has one.  Or when you have to actually get on the floor for something and you find yourself thinking, “what else can I do while I’m down here?”  It might be that reunion.  Years ago at my 30th high school reunion the organizers made name badges using our high school senior photos.  Standing in front of the mirror allowed you to do a comparative look.  That’s the first time I actually asked myself, “when did I grow this two foot forehead?”  It’s like a billboard.  I should sell advertising space.  To compensate I now find myself raising my eyebrows to create an optical allusion.  I constantly look surprised but I do look younger….or not.  My hair is getting thinner by the second, but I can grow it out my ears like Rogaine on steroids.  My eyebrows have gone bezerk.  It looks like I’ve got two dead ferrets up there.  And I won’t even talk about the disgusting hair on my back (I may have lost some readers with that visual). 

There were a lot of things I thought about being as I got older, but wrinkled wasn’t one of them.  Should I cosmetically try to stop this impending body deterioration?  I think not.  With my obsessive tendencies, I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to stop.  Imagine so many face-lifts my sideburns ended up behind my ears.  It could happen. 

But everything has a silver lining and I’ve got to do that with aging.  Think about it.  In a hostage situation I’m likely to be released right after the babies. I don’t have much value to a kidnapper.  And I have better skills than a meteorologist since my knees can predict weather far more accurately than they can.  I can now honestly tell someone that their secret is safe with me because I’ll shortly forget it anyway.  I get discounts, I can engage in any conversation involving medicine or surgeries, and I now LOVE elevator music.  When you make a chart of the pros and cons, it’s really one sided in favor of aging.  This is true even not counting the old adage “aging is better than the alternative of NOT aging”.

It’s been said that men age gracefully.  I ain’t buying it because I’ve got mirrors.  If I want a good laugh I just stand in front of the mirror in my Spiderman underwear (that may have also been too much information).  But it’s hilarious.  My maker definitely put me together funny. 

And that’s the point.  We’re supposed to age, even a funny speaker.  If nothing else for humor sake.  If we didn’t get funnier looking as we got older, how would we keep our sanity into our 50’s, 60’s, and beyond?  We’re supposed to get saggier, dumpier, balder, rounder, slower, goofier, and….older.  It gives us something to laugh about.  And we all know the power of laughter.  It keeps us younger.  Mentally at least.     

Mark Mayfield, A Funny Speaker with a Serious Message


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