I make a living as a funny speaker, but I’ve picked up some great communication tips over the years. May I share?
Let’s be honest. Men and women are terrible communicators with each other. You know what I’m talking about…saying one thing but actually meaning another. I will lay blame on both sexes, that way both of you will be equally offended by this writing.
So in an attempt to clarify a few things, I’ve been compiling interpretations over the years. I’m know I’m just a funny speaker, but truly believe this will help both genders understand the other. I just wanna make the world a happier place. I’m that type a guy.
Here goes nothing:
Man says “it’s a guy thing”, means “I have no rational thought pattern connected to this activity. Don’t even try to make it logical”.
Woman says “you need to be a better communicator”, means “shut up and agree. You’re wrong”.
Man says “that’s interesting dear”, means “I haven’t been listening for the last five minutes”.
Woman says “I’ll be ready in a minute”, means “go ahead and catch another loop of Sports Center”.
Man says “you look terrific”, means “please don’t try on another outfit, I’m starving”.
Woman says “go ahead, do what you want”, means “you’ll pay for it later. Think again”.
Man says “take a break honey, you’re working too hard”, means “shut off the vacuum cleaner I can’t hear the game”.
Woman says “do you love me”, means “I just bought something really expensive”.
Man says “I could never love anyone else”, means “I’m really used to the way you yell at me. Comfortable is good and it could be much worse”.
Woman says “we need to talk”, means “you’ve screwed up so sit down, this is gonna take a while”.
Man says “I am listening, I just have a lot of things on my mind”, means “I wonder if that redhead over there is wearing a bra”.
Woman says “does this outfit make my butt look big”. Seriously guys, if you need to have that one interpreted then none of the above is going to help. Enjoy your bachelor pad.
Mark Mayfield…A Funny Speaker with a Serious Message