A Funny Speaker Looks at the Presidential Race

Politics are always funny to a funny speaker.  Particularly a Presidential race with a bunch of candidates posing as comedians.

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A Funny Speaker Looks at the Race for President

I know it seems like the Presidential race has already gone on forever, but we really haven’t begun.  We don’t even know who the nominees will be, that’s when the mud will fly and the annoying commercials will air.    My partners and I at FunnierU have been trying to ease everyone through this process by writing topical humor on the subject, so I thought I’d share some of our postings from this process to help you as well.  Don’t worry, I’m a non-partisan funny speaker.  I will offend all of you regardless which side of the aisle you sit, and who you support.  It’s how I roll.  Here’s your therapy…

Every candidate running for President wants to simplify the tax code.  And if you think that means less taxes, then you are what’s simple.
 
To keep Donald Trump’s hair in place they use the same stuff they use on gymnasium floors.
 
At her latest Presidential rally, Hillary said the Benghazi issue is nothing but a political witch hunt.  Then she got on her broom and flew away.
 
I don’t care what you think of his policies, but you have to agree, Chris Christie is the perfect shape for the Oval Office.
 
Ben Carson is a neurosurgeon.  Is there anyone that would be more out of place in Washington, D.C. than a brain surgeon?
 
Jeb Bush announced today he really doesn’t want to be President, he’s just sick and tired of being made fun of at family reunions.
 
The last Republican Presidential Debate included seven people.  I come from a big family and when there’s seven people talking it’s not a debate, it’s an argument.
 
The Bible says you can’t buy your way into heaven.  It doesn’t say anything about the White House.
 
I don’t agree with Bernie Sanders on a lot of things, but he is my favorite Muppet.
 
Donald Trump confuses me.  When he speaks I sometimes can’t tell if he’s on to something, or if he’s on something.
 
Hillary Clinton said there’s not a shred of evidence of any wrongdoing with her email servers.  She said SHRED!
 
The last debate had interruptions, sarcasm, angst, and name-calling.  It was like a family reunion.
 
Here’s a recap of the last Republican Presidential debate.  Carly Fiorina was angry, Jeb Bush was invisible, and Donald Trump acted like he needed to go pee.

My crossword puzzle asked for a seven-letter word, beginning with “C”, meaning twisted or devious.  “Crooked” works, but so does “Clinton”.  Hmmmm…

I’m not gonna say Bernie Sanders is too old, but if he was a car he’d be hard to get parts for.

After Donald Trump complained about unfair news coverage he was told, “if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen”.  And that’s why I never got into politics…I hate doing dishes.

MARK MAYFIELD…A Funny Speaker with a Serious Message

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