This Funny Speaker Should Know Better

Should a funny speaker know better? You be the judge. 

The son of one of my best friends insisted on “showing me the town” a recent Saturday night since I was batching it for the weekend. Now remember I’m happily married (not sure my wife is), and I’m certainly not interested in any sort of impropriety, but I’m thinking the new social scene might be kinda’ fun. But let me replay the set-up: a married pot-bellied fifty-something out with a single twenty-something stud. You know this is going to end badly. We’ll cut to the chase.

This Funny Speaker is like Gilligan sometimes Funny Speaker This Funny Speaker Should Know Better 77319

Gilligan or The Funny Speaker?

I’m an old duck out of water way past my bedtime and I’m standing at the bar trying to act like I belong. That’s when it happened. I was tapped on the shoulder. I turned and a short distance away a beautiful young girl waves at me. I wave back in a feeble attempt to look hip. I’m sure I wasn’t.  Think Gilligan or Gomer Pyle. I’m guessing she was 30 because she looked 15. That’s the formula I use these days because everybody looks like a kid. Seconds later I’m tapped on the shoulder again. I turn and this time she winks at me. You read this right. She WINKED at me! I winked back. Think Gilligan again. I’m now pretty sure that this old man has still got it, when she taps me a third time and motions me to come closer so she can say something to me. I drop in a breath mint and lean in only to hear this, “you remind me of my dad”. Balloon busted. So much for still having it. I ain’t “got it” and I’m not sure I ever “had it”, but this I know for sure:  if a young woman is eyeing me, I’ve probably spilled something on my shirt or my fly is open.

I’m just sayin’.

Mark Mayfield, A Funny Speaker with a Serious Message


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