Funny Motivational Speaker’s 1st grandchild
A PERSON WHO MAKES A LIVING AS A FUNNY MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER IS GOING TO NOTICE A FUNNY NAME, AND SOME NOT SO FUNNY.
Delaney May is my first grandchild. That’s her first and middle name and the reason I’m not broadcasting her last name is because I’m sure some international modeling and/or talent agency is gonna want her, and she just doesn’t need that kind of pressure right now. She’s too busy learning how to blow slobber bubbles for heaven’s sake. But I’m just so thankful that my daughter and son-in-law chose such a great name. It’s beautiful, even poetic, but most of all NORMAL!!!
I get it. I’m a funny motivational speaker, I’m all about calling attention to oneself. But when you call attention to your kid by giving them a totally whacked out name, you have gone too far. You’ve seen this. Naming your child “Ima” when the last name is gonna complete the sentence. I knew a family named Budd who named their daughter “Rose”. Really? That type of name creativity will certainly be a conversation starter, and might get a laugh before someone says, “no really, what’s her REAL name”. But c’mon, what are you doin’ to the kid. Giving an offspring a goofy name is a guarantee for a lifetime of wedgies.
Why do parents do this?
A name is somewhat permanent. Gwyneth Paltrow named her daughter “Apple”. Maybe she can name her next child “Peach”, then she’ll have a pear, I mean pair. HA! And this is the woman that moved to England because she said Americans were too stupid. Look in the mirror honey. Rob Morrow named his daughter “Tu”. His little girl’s full name is pronounced Tomorrow. Are you kidding me? But the “Big Bonehead” award has to go to Dave Duchovny and Tea Leoni who named their child “Kyd”. They named their kid, Kyd. You can’t make this stuff up. I’m thinking “Kyd” is another one destined for wedgies. There’s “Billy the Kid” and “Kid Rock”, but those are nicknames. There is a difference, you attention seeking dimwits. At least now we will have a real life sequel for Abbot & Costello’s, “Who’s on First” routine.
What’s your name kid?
Yep.
No, your name kid.
That’s it.
That’s what?
My name.
That’s what I’m asking, what’s your name kid?
You got it.
I got what?
My name.
That’s what I’m asking, your name kid?
That’s it.
Your name is “It”?
Nope, he’s my brother.
I thought the parents were supposed to be the smart, responsible ones. But those examples I gave you did come from Hollywood, didn’t they?
I’m just sayin’.
Mark Mayfield…A Funny Motivational Speaker with a Serious Message
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