Snappy Comebacks from a Funny Motivational Speaker
Funny Motivational Speaker over time accumulates comebacks for all types of situations.
I really don’t have anything to rant about in this blog. Four healthy grand-kids, two awesome daughters, and a wonderful wife will take the edge off whatever you think might be ailing you. So instead, I thought I’d provide a service to all you readers with some of my favorite snappy comebacks that I’ve accumulated over the years. Keep these in the back of your mind. They do come in handy.
YOU’RE WELCOME.
- How can I miss you if you won’t go away?
- As a kid, you must have worked with glue a lot.
- You are depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
- I liked you better before I got to know you so well.
- Of course I’ll miss you, but my aim should improve.
- I think your gene pool had a little too much chlorine.
- I sense your wheel is turning, but I feel the hamster is dead.
- It’s hard to kiss the lips at night that chewed me out all day.
- If I can’t be number one in your life, then number two on you.
- I have a very independent mind. Sometimes it goes off without me.
- Was “wrinkled” one of the things you wanted to be when you grew up?
- It’s amazing to think the sperm that created you beat out a million others.
- My best golf score is a 72, no wait a 68, no a 65….I’m improving my lie.
- If you were any more stupid, you’d have to be watered twice a week.
- God must love idiots, he made so many of them.
- I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
- Yogi Berra couldn’t have said that better.
- Your IQ test came back. It was negative.
- And my favorite: Thanks for the backhanded compliment. That’s like saying you’re the smartest guy in a Jerry Springer audience.
Cautionary comment: To utter many of these you must be bigger, stronger, or faster.
Mark Mayfield…A Funny Motivational Speaker with a Serious Message.
To watch Mark on stage click here.
If you want to learn how to be more funny go to FunnierU.com.
